My family has had too much “togetherness.”
Our eldest child is 15; his younger brother just turned 14
this week; their younger sister is going to be 11 in a few months. Our home was far more livable for all of us
when one of us went to work, three of us went to school, and the other of us
could work from home and manage the extracurriculars. There’s been no school for months; kids are
always present; there are few opportunities for having “one’s own space.” And while it seems reasonable that of the
roughly 10 inside spaces and only 5 of us that we could each carve out a niche …um,
not so well.
We were all used to more time, more space, and different
activities. And we’re on each other’s
every last nerve. I could be like this
BC (before COVID-19); but now, it’s 24-7.
And while most everyone else around the country has “worked from home,”
I’ve had to get away from home in order to work effectively—which has added a
whole different kind of stress. Still,
we’re surviving. But not everyone
is.
If my household is any indication, the rocky summer we are
already expecting is probably going to be a lot rockier because of things we’re
not talking about as much. Behind our “shelter
in place” facades are real dangers of stress, domestic violence, domestic
abuse, depression, anxiety, all mixed up in a cocktail with fear.
Surely, we know the effects of “shelter in place”—while intended
to keep us safe from the virus—have unintended deadly consequences. We can’t just keep sheltering in place and be
unscathed! And I’m defeated, being told
over and over and over that I can’t DO the things I want to. But it’s not what you think.
I believe the Church needs to stop saying, “No,” and must
begin the harder work of rescuing people.
I’ve been trying to find a way to say this, but then, as
usual, someone else I know says it much better.
Invitingly even. Here’s what my
friend Andrew, who lives and serves a church in Boise, Idaho, shared this week:
Hey FPC'ers: if you missed it, last night the Session voted to keep the building closed through June (and maybe beyond).Meanwhile, only the building is closed.We will begin working on more small group outdoor gatherings. We will work on this for a "mobile worship" experience as well, getting people who are craving in-person gathering together to experiencing worship in small groups with safe distancing and outdoors.The Session understands that for some of us quarantine is having a growing detrimental impact socially, emotionally, and physically. There is growing evidence of the consequences of what we are doing to "stay safe". We are balancing that with what is safe and healthy to do in light of the still progressing pandemic of COVID-19. We will call on all our imagination—and your imagination—to walk this balancing act together. There are safer and healthier ways to gather than indoors, stationary, as a large group. Let's find those ways and use them—we can be safe, and connected—we can see to our emotional and mental health and prevent undue exposure to coronavirus, and this will allow that we stay the course in recognizing that large-scale corporate worship is not safe at this time.
I live in a different part of the country where we’ve never
had a “shelter-in-place” order. I believe
my scientist friends. But if they’re
right, we’re going to reap the whirlwind.
There’s no join in their being right about the virus’ potential
devastation. Though I not-so-secretly want
them to be right—but without the consequences.
But while they would have me lie comfortable on my couch for the rest of
the year and part of the next, order my groceries in, and spend less money on
gasoline than fish food in that time—that just ain’t gonna work. At all.
Too many people will still die, just not as many from the virus.
No. Now is the time
to seize opportunities. Stop telling me what I can't do, and help me to do what we can to rescue people! We have to find
ways to rescue one another, to say “yes” to something, to “be the Church for
real,” not just be “ideal.”
The congregation I serve hasn’t been “closed” either. But it’s like we’ve gone away on
vacation. Or worse, I fear we’re seen as
“hiding in fear” like Jesus’ disciples after the crucifixion. In fact, because we’re people of privilege, many
of could really spend months at home without a paycheck and not really
suffer. Well, except we suffer from all
the things money can’t buy (depression, anxiety, diseases, stress).
But it’s festering.
Death because of COVID-19. Only,
it’s not always the virus. And the
symptoms aren’t just the shortness of breath, fever, feeling bad, not tasting,
and the rest of the CDC hit list.
I need to be reminded, “we can’t do this forever.” Lets talk about what real, doable, healthy
options look like.
I need to be rescued (mostly from my defeatist thinking). A bunch of other folks do, too.
We need to change the conversation. Seriously.
Before it’s too late.
We need to begin to spend more time in rescue
operations. Being the church, together
again—even if “together” is a moving target.
