Life is not O.K. right now; it’s just not. All of us are frayed. All of us are affected by the response to COVID-19 in different ways. All of us are trying to manage everything that’s normally “not managed perfectly,” and now we’re doing it when we’re not normal and even little things can’t be managed.
Outside our bedroom we’ve had this distraction. Some weeks ago, before Easter, we noticed some cardinals had taken up residence right under the window. Clearly a pair, the momma held down the nest, that this year, was higher in the branches than last year’s nest that had been more accessible from the ground. And you have to know that last year, the babies occupied the nest, never got flight feathers, and just disappeared one day.
So on Easter, our part of the world experienced some horrible spring storms, and sometime between Easter and last Sunday we noticed that the nest had become unoccupied. In particular we noticed the large volume of rain that had overwhelmed our gutters maybe overwhelmed the nest and because we went directly from little babies in the nest to nothing in the nest, and the nest appearing washed out (we noticed because the level of poop in the nest got “flushed” which it normally doesn’t--and NOT washing your hands isn’t the only gross thing we’ve learned about in our house during COVID-19) that, well, you know, nature. Nature can be less than gracious and generous.
I took this picture this morning, but it’s what we’ve been staring at for days--the “clean” but empty nest!. And all the while we had been hoping aginst hope that the little baby birds didn’t die some horrible death. But it’s hard to hope when you know in the back of your mind what’s happened. And on top of all this COVID-19 it’was a real kick in the gut.
I mean, it’s bad enough having to deal daily with the COVID-count of cases and deaths and the lack of ventilators; that we all lost Easter at church, that spring is slipping away, that summer vacation’s in peril! What’s up with God taking away our little distraction--sort of like the plant in the Jonah story that shades one day, but is withered the next! Come on, Creator!
I’m familiar with the idea that “in order for there to be a resurrection there has to be a death.” This little theological gem has been feeding me for years. But perhaps, not well enough, a follow-up question by Sarah Howell-Miller that asks, “What needs to die in order for love to rise? Yes, “death” is necessary for “resurrection” to work; and “resurrection” is not “resuscitation”--so that “resurrection” doesn’t mean starting over at the point “resuscitation” became necessary. Rather, resurrection requires living newly.
This morning my wife, who’s been grieving the loss of the baby birds, discovered that what the bird-book describes is true, afterall--that cardinals fledge in 7-10 days. So you go quickly from big mouths and no bodies in the nest to fly-able chicks.
So here’s the most photogenic of the chicks, watching us warily through the window whilst awaiting momma and poppa taking turns bringing breakfast at a constant and frantic pace. (Note to self: apparently, teenagers need to eat a lot. Maybe that’s why kid #2 keeps saying, “I’m hungry,” after every meal.) We saw at least two of the chicks with newly minted feathers, both serviceable for flying and looking like you’d expect a cardinal to look. And, though THEIRS was no resurrection (I can’t speak to the need for “resuscitation” after the many rounds of storms they’ve had to endure), it was for us! We who had believed them to be dead; were elated to find they are NOT! And ...we suspect, now, the same thing happening last year!
We wasted (err, expended) one of today’s hours watching; trying to vouch for the third chick, and collecting evidence of their daily lives post-nest--and they’re a lot harder to keep up with! But this distraction--for today--means everything!
I’m pretty sure cardinals don’t follow the weather on the internet; they don’t know 3 or 4 days in advance that bad storms are coming--they’ve simply been dealing with spring storms since--well, the beginning. You build a nest. You do your best to keep safe and keep others safe. And sometimes, what happens, just happens.
Resurrection is not resuscitation--we’re not going back to what was before COVID-19 when all this is over, to restart our lives. We’re going to live in new ways because COVID-19 happened to us, like a storm flooding out a bird nest. And sure, we need COVID-19 to die and all that; but there are still other things about us, in us, that need to die so that love can rise. And in the midst of this storm around us--that’s a gift.
Can we live through this? How long will it last? When will it be over? How will we know?
My grandfather always said, “life isn’t fair.” If you’re looking for it to be, it isn’t ever going to be. We’re not O.K. We all need hugs and some empathy. We all need LOVE to rise. Somewhere in how we’re created, in our relationship with the triune God, we already know how to do that--I think. If not, Jesus implores us to fiind that part of us and use it. Find what needs to die, let love rise, share some kindness, watch out for stormy weather, don’t give up. It’s not about doing it again and again and again (resuscitation). It’s about fighting, scratching, clawing life out of the dust of the earth until it’s not the same (resurrection).
Jesus never said life was easy. He did say over and over he’d be with us, even if it wasn’t (easy or fair). Oh, and for us not to be afraid. Especially in storms.
And for today--that’s everything!
